You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Welp...herpes.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
