Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses

Fav 10 1514 2021
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(951): View more from California

I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?

Fav 22 2726 948
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(913): View more from Kansas

id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

Fav 5 2670 802
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(330): View more from Ohio

you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"

Fav 30 2282 5050
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.

Fav 5 909 2617
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(850): View more from Florida

The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.

Fav 4 2008 634
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(443): View more from Maryland

I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best

Fav 6 1876 710
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(541): View more from Oregon

But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."

Fav 0 55 8
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(707): View more from California

He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat

Fav 0 33 60
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