eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
