Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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