puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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