okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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