i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
