dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
