I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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