So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
