so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
