One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
