farters have to be the big spoon...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm at about main and main street
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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