I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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