Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
