How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
