took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize