Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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