On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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