I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
