Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
