"it" just moved
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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