her vagina looked like bernie madoff
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
