i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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