her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just want nice things and good sex
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You are a genius and a whore.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
