just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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