I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
