He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I am naked and annoyed.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
