He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
