i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
