did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
