That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
