the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
