It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
