Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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