Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
