Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
