The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
