Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
