i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
