I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
