My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
