Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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