Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
40s are totally the cure
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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