my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
