You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
