I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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