eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
