Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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