listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
