I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
