oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we're making bets on your personal life
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
